Tenured Teacher, Homeowner, and Sexless Marriage

Tenured Teacher, Homeowner, and Sens Marriage

A high school teacher with tenure, a mortgage, a vvife, and a six-month-old daughter describes her daily life as a chain of obligations leading nowhere. She wakes early to teach teenagers she dislikes, returns home to juggle bottles and tantrums, and dines on conversations entirely about the baby. The slump isn't nostalgia; it's pure exhaustion. Physically, she looks great—"great hair," even a few flattering gray hairs—yet she declares herself "completely down."

Her only escape is the gym, that time she calls "my only semi-happy moment." Weekends bring no relief. A monthly outing with her few single friends always ends before midnight to avoid upsetting her vvife. The underlying complaint isn't fatigue. It's that she sees no reward for such sacrifice: only sticks, no carrots.

How long does raising a child last?

The most repeated timeline is stark: four to five years. After that, one of the most shared theories holds, things start easing if any of the original couple remains. Others stretch the calendar to six years. And some warn the relief is short-lived: there are testimonials of children with nearly eight years still having daily tantrums, and those who recall that at eleven or thirteen, adolescence arrives and starts over.

The dominant message, however, is the same: what is described isn't an anomaly, but a phase. A predictable bump, though those experiencing it feel it as a bottomless pit.

Sens, IUD, and postpartum: the couple's neutral gear

The issue of desire receives almost clinical treatment. The author admits sensual contact with his vvife practically disappeared during pregnancy and hasn't returned postpartum. He adds a detail making it a physical problem: the intrauterine device placed to regulate her cycles causes pain during intercourse, making the experience more painful than pleasurable. He adds body changes after birth and a drop in desire that, he says, hasn't returned.

Opinions divide. One school recalls that lowered desire during breastfeeding is a common, passing phenomenon, recommending patience. Another encourages open discussion with the partner to explore non-coital options. A third, less sentimental, suggests if the partner won't meet that need, resolve it discreetly and for money. Some point the solution lies in evaluating contraceptive alternatives, including vasectomy.

Single or married with children: which life hurts less?

Here, the issue splits in two. One group openly mocks the premise, claiming the story is exaggerated, a fabricated profile, or outright provocation. Another takes it literally, responding with concrete exits: divorce, lovers, maintenance, separation.

In between appears an uncomfortable comparison. Someone aged 35, bald, short, overweight, without a partner or job, and on the verge of homelessness, claims to feel luckier: he believes a child unites for life and that bond will bring more suffering than joy. Meanwhile, another participant boasts of a marriage with daily sens, to which he is told that story doesn't hold. No one wins the argument.

The coming crisis: children, parents, and inheritances

A recurring warning extends the problem's horizon. The burden of children below joins that of parents and in-laws above. When those pass and the ground seems cleared, the forecast is another fight: sharing the inheritance with siblings and in-laws. Then, retirement with a lower amount than expected. And underlying, a body that no longer responds. The pessimistic conclusion is bitter: it's almost more peaceful not to see it.

The question no one closes: why grandparents endured

The most cited contrast isn't with neighbors, but the previous generation. It's recalled that grandparents arrived at houses with seven or eight kids, ate at a set table, took naps, and returned to work without drama. There was no room for depression, it's argued. The question remains unanswered: what has changed so the same package—work, house, children—becomes a condemnation today?

In between, a warning runs through much of the discussion: a body aging and a pension calculated with less money than expected. No one quite figures how to sustain all that at once.