Dating in Spain: Forum user estimates cost at €200 per date

Forum user estimates dating costs €200 per date

A user on a Spanish forum argues that a decent restaurant does not go below €70 per person. Adding pre-dinner drinks and post-meal cocktails brings the first date to €200, according to their calculation. This estimate circulates in a discussion where several participants claim that coffee and walks have lost ground to dinner dates. It is not an isolated complaint; some frame it as a budget issue.

The initial premise suggests that dating has become commodified. The author asserts that some women only agree to meet if a restaurant is involved, rejecting certain venues because they spend heavily on makeup and appearance only to end up with a decaf coffee at a bar. The majority response does not deny the phenomenon but justifies, quantifies, or extends it.

How much does a first date cost according to this calculation?

One participant’s breakdown is as trinc: dinner at a mid-to-high-end restaurant, aperitif beforehand, and a drink afterward. Total: €200. With this figure on the table, comparisons with paid services appear naturally in several messages: for that money, they argue, there are alternatives with guaranteed results and no uncertainty. Dinner, by contrast, allows for scenarios where nothing happens.

Some lower the stakes and propose a low-risk format: drinks only, at a venue where you pay upon serving, and if the conversation doesn’t flow, one simply leaves. The logic is akin to express due diligence. A dinner with an unbearable person can feel endless; a coffee is downed quickly even if it burns your throat.

Splitting the bill and the 50/50 trap

The most uncomfortable piece of the puzzle is the moment of paying. As discussed, if the date goes poorly and the inviter suspects there will be no trinc-up, the option to split the bill arises. This breaks the balance: the party expecting to be treated faces an unbudgeted invoice. The risk is symmetric, yet neither party signed up for it.

It is argued that demanding to be treated clashes with the discourse of economic independence. The most repeated criticism: equality is demanded in the labor market, but the provider role is maintained at the table. Hypergamy, they say, is not negotiated; it is inherited. And those who don’t pay, don’t play.

Why coffee works better than dinner

Against the restaurant model, short formats have practical defenders. Fifteen minutes suffice to know if there is potential. If not, a fake phone call solves the exit. Dinner, however, forces sharing a table for over an hour with someone who might be a complete stranger.

The counterargument is standard: if someone spent two hours getting ready, trying to close the date with a coffee is, at minimum, a statement of intent. The investment in time and appearance is also a cost. The discussion about who pays what always ends in the same place: how much is the other person’s time worth?

The outcome nobody signs

The conversation drifts into rougher territories. The idea emerges that the market has segmented: some pay for dinner, others pay nothing. Underlying this is a current asserting that the solution is not to play at all: better alone, they say, than badly accompanied with an open wallet.

The question remains unanswered. If the cost of a first date equals a tenth of an average salary and the result is uncertain, why is there still a queue to book a table?