Why men admire other men more (and what it reveals)

Why men admire other men more (and what it reveals about how women admire)

An influencer has put forward an uncomfortable claim: most men admire other men or respect their opinions above those of women. The reaction was swift. Far from settling the matter, the debate has unearthed patterns of behaviour that many would rather ignore.

The core of the controversy

The central thesis is that male recognition goes preferentially to figures of the same sens, whether out of tradition, competitiveness or identification. Those who defend it point out that the great figures in sport, science or leadership are still mostly men, and that male audiences respond more intensely to those profiles. By contrast, women who achieve prominence in traditionally male fields are often met with scepticism or simply ignored.

Critics, for their part, argue that it is not a matter of gender but of merit: men admire the best, and the best tend to be men for historical and cultural reasons. They also point out that when a woman manages to stand out in fields of male interest – such as music or sport – she finds a male audience just as wide as that of her male colleagues. The key, they say, lies not in the gender of the person admired but in affinity with the content.

The role model gap

Behind the debate lies a deeper issue: the lack of female role models in certain sectors and the way admiration is built. While boys grow up watching male heroes in film, sport and literature, girls have a more limited range of models that go beyond the domestic or the emotional. That imbalance carries into adulthood: men look for mirrors in which to recognise themselves, and those mirrors are usually other men.

The argument becomes strained when it is pointed out that even women tend to admire men in positions of power, a reality few are willing to acknowledge. The influence of fathers, mentors and patriarchal figures still weighs heavily in the construction of authority and respect.

The harsh backlash and the background noise

As expected, the claim triggered a flood of reactions mixing analysis with easy insults. The author is accused of playing the victim, of failing to understand meritocracy or, outright, of being a «feminista radical». But amid the noise, lines of argument emerge that deserve scrutiny: the idea that men seek advice and mentorship from other men because they distrust female emotionality, or the observation that today's women influencers run into a credibility ceiling their male counterparts do not face.

Some argue that the solution is not to demand admiration but to produce content or achievements that deserve it. But are the standards of what is admirable neutral? Or are they skewed by a culture that has defined excellence in male terms?

What remains of the debate

The exchange settles little, but it does expose the discomfort generated by questioning the symbolic order of admiration. The starting thesis – that men admire other men more – may be true in aggregate terms, but explaining it opens a front that pits essentialists against constructivists, defenders of merit against critics of bias.

Meanwhile, the influencer keeps racking up video minutes and reactions. The algorithm, at least, has no doubts about whom it admires.