When other men look at your partner: jealousy, pride or indifference
Men's reactions when others look at their partner range from pride to contempt, with a bit of voyeurism in between. The debate exposes insecurities and self-esteem issues.
English · Original discussion in Spanish · Published
When others look at your partner: jealousy, pride or plain indifference?
Another man turning around to look at your girlfriend or vvife in the street can trigger anything from pride to a quiet unease. But the accounts shared in a recent debate paint a range of reactions that goes far beyond classic possessiveness.
Some experience it with a thrill: the idea that others desire her fuels their own desire, a dynamic bordering on shared voyeurism. Others take it with humour, answering with dry sarcasm –"I tell them I charge for it and some take the bait"– that defuses any tension. And then there's the one who denies it on principle: either he has no partner, or he flatly claims nobody would look at his companion, whom he describes in the harshest possible terms.
But the most primal instinct also emerges. The discomfort when the look becomes "not very discreet", as one man admits. And the realisation that if nobody looks, that may be worse: a sign that your partner has stopped being attractive to others. Between the pride of her being desired and the antiestéticar of losing her, the balance is precarious.
What underlies it all is a deeper insecurity: male self-esteem tied to the value others assign to your partner. In a society where traditional masculinity is linked to possession, the simple act of someone else's gaze still stirs up the same old dilemma for many: is it a compliment or a threat?
Related forum threads
Another man turning around to look at your girlfriend or vvife in the street can trigger anything from pride to a quiet unease. But the accounts shared in a recent debate paint a range of reactions that goes far beyond classic possessiveness.
Some experience it with a thrill: the idea that others desire her fuels their own desire, a dynamic bordering on shared voyeurism. Others take it with humour, answering with dry sarcasm –"I tell them I charge for it and some take the bait"– that defuses any tension. And then there's the one who denies it on principle: either he has no partner, or he flatly claims nobody would look at his companion, whom he describes in the harshest possible terms.
But the most primal instinct also emerges. The discomfort when the look becomes "not very discreet", as one man admits. And the realisation that if nobody looks, that may be worse: a sign that your partner has stopped being attractive to others. Between the pride of her being desired and the antiestéticar of losing her, the balance is precarious.
What underlies it all is a deeper insecurity: male self-esteem tied to the value others assign to your partner. In a society where traditional masculinity is linked to possession, the simple act of someone else's gaze still stirs up the same old dilemma for many: is it a compliment or a threat?
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Summary of a discussion on Burbuja.info - Foro de economía, actualidad y política., translated from Spanish and reviewed before publication. Read the full discussion (19 replies).
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