Spanish men and South American women: the rivalry dividing men

Spanish men and South American women: the rivalry dividing men

A bald, older man receives attention on a Spanish beach that, according to the story that opens the conversation, a Spanish woman would never give him: sunscreen, kisses and a devotion described as unconditional. The scene, told with a smirk, sets off a discussion of 219 comments that has now lasted 55 days and, beneath the veneer of a summer anecdote, strikes a raw nerve: the dating market, economic status and the perception that something has changed in who chooses whom.

The first reaction is less about the South American woman than about the Spanish one. Several voices argue that Spanish women have become demanding, that they have accumulated rights — one comment even cites a count of more than 500 laws in their favour — and that this has left a segment of men out of the game. Against that thesis, the most common response is that the phenomenon is nothing new: "that's why so many Spaniards went off to the Americas," one sums up. The history of Spanish emigration and intermixing is used here as an appeal to authority, however crude.

The calculus of desire and wallet

The economic core of the matter soon appears: it is claimed that there are women who would rather share a wealthier man than put up with one of lower status. Red-pill talk, population decline and the idea that the system is designed to benefit women all get mixed into the same paragraph. There is no data to back up these claims; they are opinions, and are presented as such. What there are are anecdotes: one man recounts that a woman left him for another who gave her 500 euros a month, and another replies that he met up with several women only for no-strings encounters and that, if they asked him for money, he never saw them again.

The discussion drifts towards sens tourism and disguised prostitution. There is talk of "lives that are just that," of encounters with a price per date and of the difference between what happens in Spain and what happens in Colombia. The tone is blunt, but the underlying analysis is the usual one: supply, demand and purchasing power. The South American woman appears at times as a partner and at times as a service; the Spanish man, as client or as partner. The ambiguity is never resolved.

The complaint about treatment and culture

A second thread runs through the conversation: treatment. It is repeated that the South American woman is kinder, more smiling, less prone to outbursts. "All smiles and sweetness," says one; "what a difference from the sour-faced Spanish woman." It is the old comparison between girlfriend and vvife, between courtship and cohabitation, now applied to nationalities. Culture comes in as reinforcement: it is claimed that in those countries an 18- or 20-year-old woman has more maturity and life experience than the average Spanish woman, and the telenovela is cited as intensive training. There is no survey to support that; it is an impression.

The counter-offensive arrives with the same ammunition. Those who defend these preferences are accused of inventing self-esteem with women who have just arrived and are desperate to get their papers. There is talk of a "vulnerability certificate," of families who come along with the girlfriend, and of the technique for "getting your wallet emptied with a mouth around your dick." The language is crude and the argument ad hominem, but it leaves one idea clear: for part of the conversation, this is not love, it is a transaction.

The European mirror and national pride

In the middle of the squabble a digression appears that says a lot about the mindset: Spain is compared with Norway and Switzerland, there is irony about northern workers being left to solve integrals and play Mozart, and the conclusion is drawn that "civilisation is in Spain." The quip serves to deflect focus, but also to recall that the cultural hierarchy is used in both directions: some look down on the South American woman for her accent and her body, others look down on the northern European for his coldness. Nobody wins.

The end of the journey leaves the matter where it began: on the beach. An older man receives attention, a young foreign woman dispenses it, and around them are projected all the frustrations and all the desires of an ageing country that cannot quite decide whether this is love, business, or both at once. The conversation reaches no agreement. Nor does it look for one.