Mamen Mendizábal: I Had No Children and Now, at 46, I Don't Want To

Mamen Mendizábal: 'It didn't suit me' to have children back then

How does one go from 'I couldn't' to 'I no longer want to' without anyone asking what changed along the way? Mamen Mendizábal, a La Sens presenter, answered that question on her own show, Encuentros inesperados, with a confession that has turned half the internet upside down: at the time when she could have had children, it didn't suit her. Then came the divorce, and with it an 'I couldn't' which she herself admits. Now, when she says she could, she maintains that she no longer wants to. The original information places her at 46 years old; in the debate, the figure of 48 is repeated.

What Mamen Mendizábal said about why she has no children

The scene was domestic: four guests — Manuela Carmena, Samantha Hudson, Judit Mascó and Juanma López Iturriaga — building their respective families with Playmobil dolls. Mendizábal put hers on the table: a dog, a man disguised as a squire and a female figure in a swimsuit. It was Mascó who asked if she was married and, after that, why she had decided not to have children.

The answer came without shame. 'I was married, I am no longer married, now I live with a partner,' she said. She has no children, she specified, 'neither from the first marriage nor from this relationship.' And she added the sentence that summarizes it: 'At a time when I could have had them, it didn't suit me'. She completed it herself: 'Then I divorced, therefore, I couldn't have them; at that time I wanted to, although I couldn't.' The closing was even drier: 'Now that I can, I no longer want to, so, it is what it is.'

Nor is it new in her discourse. When she bid farewell to Más vale tarde, she acknowledged that working in television demanded 'many personal sacrifices.' And she concluded in another interview: 'I have more loyalty to my viewers than to my own family, I don't know what it is to pick up a child from school.' She is vice president of the Federation of Journalists Associations of Spain. The curriculum is not in question; the decision, yes.

Can one have a child naturally at 48 years old?

Here the problem begins. Those who have put numbers on the table state that at that age the probability of conceiving naturally is 1% or less per cycle, with irregular or non-existent ovulation, and place the risk of Down syndrome between 1 in 10 and 1 in 12 cases — around 8-10% — with a risk of spontaneous abortion that spikes with age. With assisted reproduction, she adds, each cycle costs around 4,000 euros and the probability remains 1%, with one less attempt per failure.

Hence the verb 'can' carries all the weight. At that age, the uncomfortable question is no longer whether she wants to, but whether the language is well chosen. The complete breakdown, with each scenario and each percentage, is what has triggered the conversation from the personal to the statistical plane.

The labor cost of motherhood, the argument she does acknowledge

The other front is not biological, but of schedule. Raising a child requires, in the words of those who have done it, years of poor sleep, midnight emergencies, homework, swings and arguments over naps. Combining it with a job outside the home, they maintain, leaves many people relying on anxiolytics. Mendizábal has never disguised that her career ate the rest: 'It is a way of life I have chosen, but which has a personal cost and a large sacrifice,' she admitted.

The nuance matters because it shifts the focus. The public discussion is not so much whether a successful journalist should have children as what price is paid by those who decide not to have them for work, and who should assume it.

From personal reproach to the defense of the decision

Reactions split into several currents. One defends coherence: no one should become a mother due to social pressure and choosing a career is not a crime. Another focuses on the end of life and maintains that renouncing offspring leaves old age without a family safety net. A third turns the case into ideological ammunition and even celebrates that there is no offspring; that minority segment moves in personal reproach and not in data.

And another more brings demography into the equation. In response to the argument that there is a lack of people, it is answered that in the 1980s the world population was 4,300 million and today it is around 8,000, and that growth is concentrated outside Europe: the EU represents about 8% of the global population and is decreasing. With these figures, they maintain, the problem is not who does not have children, but where they are had.

What remains to be resolved

What remains is the usual: a public woman who explains a personal decision and a public that turns it into a political issue. The career continues, the dog too, and the 'can' has become the most discussed word in the entire matter. The day someone proves that the verb is correct, we will have to look for another reason to opine on the lives of others.