Gracie Abrams and Chanel's Pizpirimeter: 27 Years Without Consensus

Gracie Abrams, 27, daughter of J.J. Abrams, and the Chanel ad no one agrees on measuring

At what age does a woman stop being pizpi? This question, which sounds like a table joke, has more substance than it seems when the protagonist is Gracie Abrams, a 27-year-old singer and daughter of director J.J. Abrams, and the showcase is the latest Chanel ad. The video, in its long version, has sparked a discussion mixing aesthetics, age, surname, and a word the RAE does not record but half of Spain uses: pizpiretism.

The first reaction, almost unanimous, is suspicion. At 27, one is not pizpi, according to orthodoxy. Then you see the ad and doubt sets in. It's not like she broke it, the more hesitant ones qualify. And here begins the real issue: if pizpiretism has an expiration date, who sets the cut?

The age limit of pizpiretism: 15, 20, or 25 years

There is consensus that there is a threshold, but not where it is. One sector maintains that over 25 years is impossible to be pizpi, appealing to an empirical reference: Leonardo DiCaprio and his well-known tendency not to exceed that figure. Another sector lowers the bar to 20: pizpiretism, they say, starts counting from there, when a pizpi German already starts swelling with each Oktoberfest.

The anecdote comes from the lottery. Number 15 is called the pretty girl because, according to tradition, there is no ugly woman at 15. The saying is centuries old and serves for what it serves: to remind us that youthful pizpiretism is a perishable good and that measuring it at 27 is, at best, debatable.

The Chanel ad: pizpiretism or simple shoulder movement?

Here the verdict splits. Part of the public sees the girl as impressive and does not understand the buzz. Another part dissects the ad and concludes that she moves her shoulders with grace and little else, that there are no boobs and that, with that material, she is not worthy of a Chanel campaign. The brand, meanwhile, is described without holding back as clothes for old women who lose control married to rockefellers. The slogan is not signed by Chanel, but it summarizes the skepticism.

The strongest counterargument does not speak of the ad, but of the entire life of the portrayed. Maybe the girl knows how to play Go, sing, pilot a small plane, play the violin, and speaks five languages, but you need to see it all exposed in a one-minute ad or think her life is empty. It is the classic defense of the nepo baby: the surname opens doors, but the resume does not fit in a spot.

The Abrams surname and the price of Gracie's face

Daughter of J.J. Abrams. That is the fact many do not let slip. The conversation shifts to nepotism and the real value of the singer's face, which for some is very expensive and for others is a brand asset perfectly appraised. The debate on whether pizpiretism is inherited or bought is, in the end, the debate on how much of this ad is merit and how much is surname.

The most honest response from the material is not an analysis, it is a phrase: if no one wants her, for me. And another that summarizes the male consensus at the table: I put her like the tunnel boring machine of Dragados. Little rigor, much sincerity.

Pizpímeter at 100%: the final verdict

The summary that closes the discussion is also the most useful: pizpímeter at 100%. The girl breaks records of pizpiretism according to some, does not reach the passing grade according to others, and the ad remains there, in long version, for each to measure with their own rule. The only clear thing is that at 27, with an illustrious surname and a contract with Chanel, the pizpirimeter no longer measures age: it measures the desire to argue.