Ashtar Sheran: Contactee Claims to Outsmart God and Satan

The contactee who corrects God and the Devil from a bar in Raticulín

A supposed channeler claims to have solved two riddles that neither Heaven nor Hell could answer: how many glasses are needed to empty the sea, and what happens when a monkey throws a coconut at a tiger's head. He says God failed the first one. Satan accepted the second as a "jelipoyas" (a nonsense word). Thus, amid laughter and broken polls, a character calling himself Ashtar Sheran argues on an economics forum that he is "one step away from being crowned above all Earth religions."

The case material is a forum thread where a self-styled commander of the Raticulín fleet mixes spiritual channeling, forum polls, and a notable ability to never answer questions. His trinc—or accomplices, depending on the day—vote for him. Critics call him a charlatan. Meanwhile, he announces missions: finding the monkey.

What exactly is Ashtar Sheran and what does he claim to be?

The character presents himself as a contacted entity, using galactic fleet language and references to Raticulín and Ganymede. "We are one step away from coronation above all Earth religions," he writes. He offers no proof. According to his own account, he doesn't need it: the proof is that no one else has correctly answered his two questions.

The first, about the glass and the sea, has an answer he considers final, attributed to a video with over four million views. The second, about the monkey and the tiger, is declared solved without showing the solution. When asked for specifics, he responds with irony: "We have two days to find the monkey."

The poll that breaks and votes that cannot be changed

The matter devolves into a parallel spectacle: a poll to decide if the contactee is credible. The results, according to him, are "surprising." He asks to allow changing the vote direction. He is told that rules are rules and to "enjoy what was voted."

Some argue that those who voted against should not be able to rectify. The counter-argument is obvious: if the poll opens in one place and closes in another, the census is flawed. The promoter himself admits visibility was low and asks to repeat the vote. Participation remains scarce, which he interprets as room for improvement.

The four-million-view video and the devil's two questions

The core argument is a video by another contactee, with three hundred thousand trinc according to Ashtar's account, from which the two questions are extracted. The first, verbatim: "How many glasses do you need to empty the sea?" The second, about the monkey and the tiger, is announced as pending empirical demonstration.

One participant proposes a simulation to check if the monkey can hit the target. Another asks for photographic or video evidence. No one provides it. The score remains tied, and the narrative rests on the promise that the correct answer will arrive.

Those who don't read and those who troll: the internal life of the matter

Much of the conflict is not theological but attention-based. The contactee complains that people enter, greet, and don't read. "You leave your great contribution, and off you go," he snaps. To a newcomer claiming to come from Ganymede with broken platinum ship parts, he replies to read the manual of breakdowns, "and given what we've seen here, nobody even reads a few messages back."

In response, skepticism organizes. He is compared to someone playing Ouija and getting Napoleon. At best, he is placed in the "lower astral," the lumpen of the beyond. It is recalled that the primary definition of charlatan—"one who talks much and without substance"—fits him like a glove.

The taxi driver, the company, and the Christmas gorilla

Amid the matter, a curious accusation appears: that one participant is actually a company. The response is dry: "Taxi driver by profession and with pride." The level of verification of the whole group is captured in that phrase.

The festive closure comes from the parish itself. He is wished a Merry Christmas and asked if he will spend it "with the monkeys on the island or with men dressed as gorillas." He is clear: "Definitely, we choose the gorillas." And there it stays, between banter and the promise of a revelation that never quite arrives.

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The contactee still hasn't shown the answer. His faithful keep voting. His critics keep waiting for proof. And the sea, for now, remains full.