Zero Dates in a Lifetime: A Forum User's Surrender

Zero dates and 46 years: the uncounted emotional surrender

The author describes himself as a 'good catch' physically, mentally, and professionally. Yet, he claims to have lived his entire life without a single confirmation of this: no dates, no kisses, no gestures leaving room for doubt. Nearly two years after first posting his situation, the balance remains absolutely zero. He insists his window has closed.

The scene precipitating his surrender is mundane: a woman he was interested in, weeks of attempts, and the confirmation that he is just another friend. He saw her with someone else and, according to his testimony, that was it. There is no official statistics or agency report behind this. It is a personal case with hundreds of echoing responses, to be read as what it is: a case, not a measured trend.

Why does the blame fall on the dating market?

The most repeated diagnosis has one axis: the market is broken. A recurring argument states that **if you are not a 7 out of 10 overall, it is very difficult for anyone to listen to you**. Another adds that the mismatch is in expectations: it is claimed that many women seek someone **four or five points above their own level** from the start, excluding most candidates.

From this arises a figure launched by a user with no other basis: the profile of young, attractive women pursued by men aged 18 to 50 is surrounded by **fifteen million competitors**. The conclusion of this current is that the model of conquering the most desired is no longer viable and one must settle for someone with their own flaws. It is a bitter reading and, above all, an unmeasured one: there is no census of candidates nor registry of rejections.

Some disagree with the entire framework. The most frequent objection is not against women or the market, but against the author himself: **concentrating all efforts on a single person is the starting error**. Launching ten times at ten different goals improves probabilities. And another uncomfortable thesis weighs in: self-sabotage. Those who do not try for antiestéticar or shyness end up just as alone as those who do not succeed.

The fake millionaire experiment

Among the stories, one functions almost as a lab case. A participant recounts that at 29, working at a multinational, he wanted to attract the attention of a colleague who did not speak to him. An older colleague spread the rumor that he had won an obscene amount of money he kept secret. The result, according to his version, was an immediate change in treatment.

The most cynical thesis extracted from the episode is: it is about having money, or if not, having people believe you do. The equation fits general economic anxiety, though it mixes two distinct things: real spending capacity and others' perception of that capacity. No one can verify the experiment. It is told as an anecdote, not as evidence.

The to-do list: gym, clothes, and social life

Against the complaint, the material offers a manual. Improve physique, watch diet, end sedentary lifestyle, read, expand cultural repertoire, train social skills, renew wardrobe, maximize hygiene, expand circle of acquaintances. The operational summary is that **one must improve for oneself and not to impress anyone**, although the declared goal is, precisely, to impress.

The most repeated advice is not about the market, but attitude: show indifference. The cited formula is the Anglo-Saxon fake it until you make it. If anxiety is perceived—and it is perceived, it is argued, clearly—the game is lost before it begins. The full breakdown of priorities, with order and corrections, is much more detailed than can be summarized here.

How much does it cost to exit the market by paying?

The most cited exit goes through the pocket. Some recommend paying directly, arguing that **it is cheaper** than sustaining a relationship and that no one takes your peace of mind. The paid services sector is treated clinically, without details, as another consumption option. A participant recounts spending **1,200 euros** on a device in 2020 and claims it gave him more than any known relationship.

Another current proposes travel: seeking a partner outside Spain, in countries where—according to this reading—the perception of men and their qualities generates less friction. And some advocate exiting the market simply: care for one's own life, cultivate hobbies, and accept that solitude, well managed, is the sister of freedom. A veteran formulates it thus: if you do not enjoy solitude, you must find a passion.

Twenty-five, thirty-four, forty-six

Age runs through all the material. Someone asks if the author is under 25 and sentences that he has plenty of milli left. Another responds that he is almost 34, has never had a girlfriend, dates, or hardly conversations with women, and lives and works alone. A third, at 46, expects nothing from anyone.

The timeline drawn by the three cases contradicts the optimistic advice. Each places the surrender frontier at a different point and none coincide with the previous, suggesting the expiration date is set more by emotional wear than by an objective threshold. The calculation of this supposed frontier, with its segments and ages, is one of the longest argumentative threads in the set.

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The disconcerting data remains. A 46-year-old man, two kisses at 12 or 13, two paid encounters causing anxiety, and a device bought in 2020. Another at 34, no girlfriend, no dates, no conversations. The story began asking for advice and ended as an inventory. The open question is not whether the market is broken, but how many cases like this are needed for it to stop seeming exclusively an individual problem.