The only thing I miss about Spain: its gay men

The author of the post, bisensbi and living in Japan, misses the explicit flattery he used to receive from lgtb men in Madrid, where he says compliments came his way «practically every time he went out». In Japan he only picks up on ambiguous signals, and his «chronic low self-esteem» wants something more direct.

## Madrid as a flattering mirror

The scene repeats itself: someone comes up and says «I know you're straight and I don't stand a chance, but when you walked in all my friends thought you were an actor». Or the variant «what a shame you're straight, you're really attractive». The man telling the story was living in **Madrid** at the time and was already on the heterosenshetero track, but the compliments kept coming from lgtb men, sometimes **25-year-olds**, with an insistence he describes as almost daily.

That drip-feed of compliments, he says, turns the recipient into «a highly valued social asset». The comparison is his own: it ends up becoming a drug. It is not a clinical metaphor, just his way of explaining that constant flattery creates dependency and that its absence is noticeable.

## Japan: signals that aren't enough

In **Japan**, where he now lives, that circuit switches off. He recognizes certain signals, from both men and women, but nothing explicit. His «chronic low self-esteem» needs more than hints. The complaint isn't aimed at anyone: he describes a change in social codes, the shift from direct declaration to implication.

## What's worth keeping and what isn't

His personal verdict is blunt: the only thing he salvages from **Spain** is its attractive, forward lgtb men. As for the rest, starting with the trains, he'll take **Japan**. It's an opinion, not a fact, and it should be read for what it is: the testimony of someone who measures a country by how people look at him in a bar.