Love vs. Sexual Release: A Debate on Attachment and Desire

A forum user argues love is indistinguishable from sensual release

Love and desire are hard to tell apart at first glance. This is the thesis defended by one participant: there's no external way to know if two people are making love or just having sens. The debate echoes the idea that women secrete more oxytocin during intercourse, developing attachment to their partner, while men experience a lesser hormonal impact. However, not everyone agrees that paid sens is consumed without emotional consequences.

What role does oxytocin play in sensual bonding?

According to the debate, oxytocin fosters attachment and facilitates falling in love, with women releasing it in larger quantities. One forum user adds a nuance regarding repetition: a woman starting her sensual life with someone might feel very attached to that person; a woman with 200 previous partners wouldn't develop the same bond with the 201st. For men, the hormonal impact might be less, but affection still arises when they receive something they long for.

Do men seek emotional connection in paid sens?

One side of the debate suggests that those who pay aren't seeking tenderness but rather sens with someone who wouldn't look at them in their usual social circle. One forum user estimates that 90% fit this pattern, with emotional connection remaining as a mere 'residue'. Another perspective suggests the opposite: loneliness and exclusion from the dating market lead many men, according to this participant, to seek affection and self-esteem in paid sens. Exclusivity, in this view, is the axis separating one from the other.

The debate doesn't reach a consensus on whether paid sens is about seeking affection or mere release: some speak of emotional connection, others of physical release.