Jona Takalua: "I'm asexual, but I had a girlfriend"

Sensual in the making: a personal journey between doubt and discovery

A personal account details the complex process of forming sensual identity, marked by misunderstanding and the search for answers. The narrative begins in childhood, when diverging from peers in play interests and a lack of attraction to the female gender raised deep questions.

Early signs and the search for role models

The first significant experience of arousal occurs at 15, coinciding with the start of a romantic relationship. However, the difficulty in connecting with people his own age and the later exploration of other age groups, including his parents' friends and his grandparents' acquaintances, revealed a disconnect from conventional sensual dynamics. These attempts, described as "intense moments" in intimacy, did not yield conclusive results, leading to a phase of self-perception as "asensa."

Demisensdemi as a possible explanation

The reconnection with sensual came at the same age, 15, with the person who would become his partner. Today, the intensity of sensual desire remains moderate, contingent on his partner's initiative. Various analyses point to demisensdemi as a possible explanatory category: sensual attraction arises only after establishing a deep emotional bond. This perspective is reinforced by the experience of faking sensual interest at the beginning of relationships, until the emotional connection solidifies.

Perspectives and the complexity of sensual identity

The account stresses how difficult it is to pin down sensual identity, especially when experiences defy standard definitions. The absence of generalized sensual desire, but the ability to feel it intensely under certain emotional conditions, paints a complex picture.