Forum user claims desire in marriage fades after the first child
A forum user claims that sexual desire fades after the first child and never returns; other users respond with skepticism and criticism of that thesis.
English · Original discussion in Spanish · Published
Desire in couples cools after the first child, according to a forum user
There is a scene that repeats itself in thousands of homes and that is being discussed these days without holding back: the husband who comes home with his expectations intact only to find a routine that shows no mercy. The complaint is nothing new, but the diagnosis being made out loud does have an edge: according to one forum user, desire fades after the first child and never comes back. The most repeated diagnosis is that the husband is the same before and after fatherhood; what changes, the argument goes, is the woman. The discussion, raised with crude humor and plenty of spite, ends up touching on a serious matter: what each partner expects from the other when everyday life swallows up the novelty.
The figure making the rounds: two or three times a year
The number that comes up most often in the conversation is not official data, but a rough estimate: a large majority of long-term couples supposedly have sens two or three times a year, if that. It is attributed to the length of the relationship, not to age. The thesis gaining ground is that monogamy is an invention with an expiration date and that human beings work like monkeys with an instinct for variety that the law puts a brake on. From there comes the proposal, half in jest, of the box of chocolates in the style of the movie Forrest Gump: if the repertoire does not change, interest fades.
The women's response: if they are all like that, the disinterest makes sense
The counteroffensive arrives quickly and without anesthesia. If all husbands are like the ones complaining, the disinterest has an obvious explanation. The argument is thrown like a dart: those who whine about not having had sens since the Naranjito match are the same ones who spend all day preaching. The discussion grows heated and gets mixed up with personal insults that add nothing to the substance, but make it clear that the issue stings.
Solitude as an alternative and the desire for variety
Against the marital lament, a current emerges that champions chosen solitude: better alone than putting up with someone who does not know when to shut up. It is not an isolated stance. The idea that the forty-year-old woman is not the problem, but rather the length of cohabitation, gains ground among those who believe a relationship restarts with someone who makes you laugh. The conclusion that prevails in several messages is uncomfortable: sensual dissatisfaction is not fixed by marriage, it gets worse.
The desire for variety and the box of chocolates
The thread closes with a mix of humor and resignation. The box-of-chocolates metaphor sums up the dominant thesis: if it is always the same, you get bored. The discussion reaches no agreement, but leaves one idea clear: the expectation that marriage guarantees desire is, for many, the mistake made at the starting line. Can a long-term relationship be sustained without desire becoming a mere formality?
There is a scene that repeats itself in thousands of homes and that is being discussed these days without holding back: the husband who comes home with his expectations intact only to find a routine that shows no mercy. The complaint is nothing new, but the diagnosis being made out loud does have an edge: according to one forum user, desire fades after the first child and never comes back. The most repeated diagnosis is that the husband is the same before and after fatherhood; what changes, the argument goes, is the woman. The discussion, raised with crude humor and plenty of spite, ends up touching on a serious matter: what each partner expects from the other when everyday life swallows up the novelty.
The figure making the rounds: two or three times a year
The number that comes up most often in the conversation is not official data, but a rough estimate: a large majority of long-term couples supposedly have sens two or three times a year, if that. It is attributed to the length of the relationship, not to age. The thesis gaining ground is that monogamy is an invention with an expiration date and that human beings work like monkeys with an instinct for variety that the law puts a brake on. From there comes the proposal, half in jest, of the box of chocolates in the style of the movie Forrest Gump: if the repertoire does not change, interest fades.
The women's response: if they are all like that, the disinterest makes sense
The counteroffensive arrives quickly and without anesthesia. If all husbands are like the ones complaining, the disinterest has an obvious explanation. The argument is thrown like a dart: those who whine about not having had sens since the Naranjito match are the same ones who spend all day preaching. The discussion grows heated and gets mixed up with personal insults that add nothing to the substance, but make it clear that the issue stings.
Solitude as an alternative and the desire for variety
Against the marital lament, a current emerges that champions chosen solitude: better alone than putting up with someone who does not know when to shut up. It is not an isolated stance. The idea that the forty-year-old woman is not the problem, but rather the length of cohabitation, gains ground among those who believe a relationship restarts with someone who makes you laugh. The conclusion that prevails in several messages is uncomfortable: sensual dissatisfaction is not fixed by marriage, it gets worse.
The desire for variety and the box of chocolates
The thread closes with a mix of humor and resignation. The box-of-chocolates metaphor sums up the dominant thesis: if it is always the same, you get bored. The discussion reaches no agreement, but leaves one idea clear: the expectation that marriage guarantees desire is, for many, the mistake made at the starting line. Can a long-term relationship be sustained without desire becoming a mere formality?
Also available in: Deutsch
Summary of a discussion on Burbuja.info - Foro de economía, actualidad y política., translated from Spanish and reviewed before publication. Read the full discussion (41 replies).
More summaries
-
Only the far right sees value in heterosexual relationships, Spanish sociologist claims
Andrea García-Santesmases argues that feminism has sidelined heterosexual desire, leaving only the far right to view it positively. The key points of the controversy and its implications.
-
Spain: Man Arrested for Suffocating Retired Canon in Valencia
Spanish police arrested a 40-year-old man for the suffocation of Alfonso López Benito, a retired canon of Valencia Cathedral.
-
Sandra Bravo advocates non-monogamy and collective care in Spain
Sandra Bravo argues that breaking sexual exclusivity isn't revolutionary, as men have always done it. She calls for collectivizing care to combat social precarity.
-
Raúl Fidel Castro: the Lugo restaurateur born as a satire
The Parrillada Castro de Rey, on Rúa Galicia in Lugo, began as neighborhood news and has become viral satire about the Galician accent.
-
Bomb threat forces Vueling Barcelona-Gran Canaria flight into emergency landing
A Vueling flight from Barcelona to Gran Canaria in Spain made an emergency landing after a bomb threat. The aircraft was moved to a remote area surrounded by security vehicles.
-
Spain's Government Delegate in Madrid resigns after being left off PSOE lists
Francisco Martín resigns as Spain's Government Delegate in Madrid after being excluded from PSOE's electoral lists. Without parliamentary immunity, he faces lawsuits from Vox over his…