Ancient chiropractic in India: the faith business built on tractors
The 'ancient' label sells everything from stone massages to tractors that straighten vertebrae. An analysis of the pseudotherapy business with an exotic flavour.
English · Original discussion in Spanish · Published
Ancient chiropractic in India: the tale of the tractor that straightens vertebrae
They call it ancient chiropractic, but no amount of antiquity helps when a tractor runs over your back. Deep down, the "ancient civilisation" label is the best wild card on the market: it sells everything from hot stone massages to cow dung creams. India has 3,000 years of history, yes, and the same proportion of swindlers per square metre as a shopping mall during the sales. Nobody should be surprised that a therapy promising to align your chakras with farm machinery is, at the very least, suspicious.
Business with a whiff of incense
The "ancestral wisdom" argument is foolproof for reeling in suckers with back pain. But, as sceptics rightly point out, if you want your back "cracked", you're better off with a licensed physiotherapist with an X-ray, not a guru talking to you about chakras while a sitar plays. The comparison with the Spanish Inquisition's rack is no accident: some recall that the Inquisition already practised pulley-based stretching, with a 3% success rate, and that today it's sold in Swiss clinics for 50,000 euros. A tidy business.
The wheel of samsara, Massey Ferguson edition
The tractor metaphor has a certain poetic touch: you enter as a scrapyard and leave as a second-hand Fiat Panda. They call it "nirvana", but it sounds more like an MOT for the soul. The warranty lasts a lifetime, because you no longer have one. And if it turns out that enlightenment consists of a Massey Ferguson running over you, you'd better reincarnate as a lobster: at least you don't pay homeowners' association fees.
The baffling part is that, despite the obvious ridiculousness, some swear it works. A car driving over someone's foot during the festivities in Comillas, Spain, and the victim claims it put his vertebrae back in place. With psychotropics involved, any therapy seems miraculous. The faith business knows nothing about X-rays.
They call it ancient chiropractic, but no amount of antiquity helps when a tractor runs over your back. Deep down, the "ancient civilisation" label is the best wild card on the market: it sells everything from hot stone massages to cow dung creams. India has 3,000 years of history, yes, and the same proportion of swindlers per square metre as a shopping mall during the sales. Nobody should be surprised that a therapy promising to align your chakras with farm machinery is, at the very least, suspicious.
Business with a whiff of incense
The "ancestral wisdom" argument is foolproof for reeling in suckers with back pain. But, as sceptics rightly point out, if you want your back "cracked", you're better off with a licensed physiotherapist with an X-ray, not a guru talking to you about chakras while a sitar plays. The comparison with the Spanish Inquisition's rack is no accident: some recall that the Inquisition already practised pulley-based stretching, with a 3% success rate, and that today it's sold in Swiss clinics for 50,000 euros. A tidy business.
The wheel of samsara, Massey Ferguson edition
The tractor metaphor has a certain poetic touch: you enter as a scrapyard and leave as a second-hand Fiat Panda. They call it "nirvana", but it sounds more like an MOT for the soul. The warranty lasts a lifetime, because you no longer have one. And if it turns out that enlightenment consists of a Massey Ferguson running over you, you'd better reincarnate as a lobster: at least you don't pay homeowners' association fees.
The baffling part is that, despite the obvious ridiculousness, some swear it works. A car driving over someone's foot during the festivities in Comillas, Spain, and the victim claims it put his vertebrae back in place. With psychotropics involved, any therapy seems miraculous. The faith business knows nothing about X-rays.
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Summary of a discussion on Burbuja.info - Foro de economía, actualidad y política., translated from Spanish and reviewed before publication. Read the full discussion (19 replies).
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