Valencia Ninja Vigilante Plan: Coarse Salt and Twine

The absurd mission of a ninja to prevent looting in Valencia

Almost two years ago, an anonymous user on a current affairs forum sparked one of the most absurd and revealing stories on Spanish internet. His plan: quit his job, train as a ninja in the mountains, and travel to Valencia as his first mission to stop looters by tying them up with twine and marking their faces with a permanent marker. The thread, with over a hundred replies, oscillates between disbelief, laughter, and subtle social criticism.

The aspiring ninja's arsenal

The transformation began with the outfit: “I will wear all black.” From there, a meticulous plan: train night vision by walking without light, use drugs if necessary to “feel something special,” and master combat arts with seven ninja stars and a handful of coarse salt to blind enemies. For the protagonist, salt was the cheap, lethal solution that would avoid legal issues with knives. “It’s very cheap and can save your life,” he argued.

The community reacted quickly. Some advised starting with boots, others warned him about the beatings he’d receive. One user coined the acronym NINJA: “No Income, No Job, No Assets,” defining the author’s situation. Among highlighted replies were links to ninjutsu manuals and stealth technique videos. A former minister was even mentioned as a potential enemy: “You’ll see when Ábalos catches you.”

The Valencia mission: vigilante justice

The climax arrived when the aspirant announced he was heading to Valencia to “stop the looting.” His method: tie thieves with twine, call the police, and write on their faces “I have to help instead of stealing.” He included a variant for someone named “Pedrito.” Although many expected a comedic ending, the author left the thread hanging: “Alright, I’m setting off.” Final replies speculate whether the ninja continued his path or was detained.

The social backdrop of a fantasy

Behind the facade of humor, the aspiring ninja’s discourse reveals bitter criticism of work life. In one message, he defined the routine of working nine hours plus commuting as “slavery” and called those who accept it “crazy.” This echo of precariousness and disillusionment connects with the “NINJA” culture coined in forums: people without income, jobs, or assets. The ninja fantasy becomes an escape from the system.

The Valencia episode remains unresolved. There is no confirmation that the ninja acted, nor that he suffered the predicted beatings. Yet the thread persists as an internet myth, reminding us that fiction sometimes surpasses reality in absurdity.