The thread that called half of Spanish football 'small-time'

The thread that called half of Spanish football 'small-time'

An Atlético de Madrid fan opens a list of 'residual' teams to give them visibility and places Sevilla, Valencia, Athletic and Betis on it. The joke starts as a spat over who is big and who is not, but the thread turns, matchday after matchday, into a logbook of Spanish football: relegations, promotions, refereeing decisions, financial plans and a Cup final that ends up being celebrated by half of Andalusia.

The definition of 'small-time' is the first point of friction. The author's criterion is not sporting but based on perceived status: Celta is left out because 'it is a big club', while Espanyol makes the list for being 'Espanyol de Cornellà'. The response is not long in coming: between them, all those named have won the same number of Champions Leagues as Atlético, and someone points out that the thread's author had also declared Rafa Nadal finished years ago. The spat is settled through irony and an argument that will resurface later: the list of trophies versus the list of humiliations.

The financial plan as the new criterion for greatness

When the thread seems doomed to remain banter, current events intervene. The news that Las Palmas, Málaga and Granada will not be able to register players for failing to comply with the financial plan reopens the old debate about which clubs should remain professional. The argument is thrown out without anaesthetic: if they cannot balance the books, they are surplus to professional football. The response from the islands is immediate: UD Las Palmas and Rayo also 'call the shots'.

The conversation then shifts to the Segunda División, where Espanyol's promotion bid plays out amid refereeing controversies. The VAR audio released by the RFEF (Spanish Football Federation) from an Espanyol-Oviedo match becomes evidence for some and an excuse for others. Accusations of robbery cross paths with mockery from those who recall that the perico club has had 'the enemy within' for years: an owner accused of cashing in and going easy on the neighbouring club. Promotion eventually arrives and the thread changes tone: from sarcasm to full-on party mode.

The Cup Betis won and Deportivo's humiliation

The final stretch of the thread has two unexpected protagonists. The first is Betis, who win the Copa del Rey (Spanish Cup) and spark a cross-party celebration: a Betis fan confesses to seventeen years of waiting and takes the chance to declare that the Seville Fair 'is a bit rubbish' compared to village fairs. The second is Deportivo de La Coruña, who start the season with zero points from a possible six and receive the corresponding dig.

In between, the thread has been accumulating material of all kinds: Real Sociedad throwing away the Europa League for the sake of the league fight, Villarreal dying 'with their boots on' against Liverpool, Getafe scraping a point, Valencia racking up red-card offences the referee fails to spot, and a recurring debate about whether modern football —with its VAR and technology— has stopped interesting those who used to watch it.

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What began as a list of second-tier teams has ended up working as a fairly accurate thermometer of the league's competitive health: the big clubs fall, the small ones rise, and the criterion for who is small-time depends, above all, on who writes the list. The last word in the thread does not belong to the author. It belongs to the calendar.