The Application Letter That Offers Everything

Offering everything isn't enough: the cover letter that forgets the phone

A pseudonymous applicant posted a cover letter that stunned critics: 24-hour availability every day of the year, willing to work holidays, Christmas, Easter, cover for colleagues on leave, and double shifts. All in exchange, supposedly, for a contract. The reaction was swift. One response read: “You forgot to mention that you put the pot where they serve the rice.” Others compared him to an employee from The Office, and some reminded him that he hadn't even included his phone number.

Extreme submission: is it an asset or a liability?

Behind the joke lies an uncomfortable question: do employers value that unconditional commitment, or do they punish it? The most astute replies point to the latter. “Too subservient; bosses don’t like dragged-out commitments,” one suggested. Recruitment seeks balance, not servitude. Someone who offers 200% appears desperate, and that breeds mistrust.

The letter, in its innocence, portrays a job market where the worker views themselves as a fungible product forced to compete by lowering their conditions to absurdity. Advice like adding, “that you are honest and don’t steal,” or “that you give your organs if they are needed,” illustrates how close the narrative of total availability comes to caricature.

So, why didn't they call?

The detail that threw it all together: the applicant was willing to work 365 days a year, but forgot to include the phone number. In the race to offer everything, the essential—how to contact you—was missing. The irony is perfect: absolute devotion without pragmatic basics doesn't count as an application; it counts as meme material. Meanwhile, the question remains open: how far would a worker go to secure a job? The sarcastic answer is that perhaps the limit lies in the phone itself.