NYT Article Sparks Debate: 'Where Are the Men?'

The End of the 'Trophy Vvife' and the Desperate Search for a Partner at 54

A reflection published in the New York Times, which has generated intense debate, poses a question echoing across broad sectors of Western society: 'Men, where have you gone? Please come back.' The author, a 54-year-old woman with a history of long and short relationships, laments a cultural shift that, in her view, has eroded the traditional role of men as companions who display status and attractiveness. According to her vision, women used to be a 'signifier of value' for men, a dynamic that now seems to have vanished.

Reactions to the article, collected in discussion forums, were not long in coming and reflect a deep division of opinions. While some share the author's melancholy, others point to the social and legal transformations of recent decades as the main cause of this apparent scarcity of men available or interested in conventional relationships. It is argued that 'feminism and the corresponding laws' have made 'playing' in the realm of relationships 'dangerous and potentially expensive' for many men, who prefer 'too much to lose.'

The Affective-Sensual Market at a Crossroads

The author of the original article evokes an era when a woman's presence beside a man indicated success. This perspective is strongly refuted by other viewpoints pointing out that 'social pressure' forced women to pair up, a dynamic that has now changed. The supposed 'uselessness' of the modern, 'empowered' woman, reluctant to traditional roles, is criticized in contrast to the man who might fit into a '1950s' model.

The debate delves into women's self-perception and their value in the 'affective-sensual market.' Comments like 'Girl, are you aware of your value in the affective-sensual market?' or the suggestion to take up 'crocheting or adopt cats' reveal a stark view of the situation. It is pointed out that the 'sensual revolution,' which promised to free men from commitment, ended up, according to some, freeing women, who now face the consequences of a more competitive and selective dating market.

Consequences of 'Empowerment' and 'Easy Life'

A current of opinion emphasizes that women have fostered this situation by 'wanting to be ALWAYS AND IN EVERYTHING ABOVE MEN,' keeping 'privileges without assuming any responsibility.' This attitude is described as 'life on easy mode,' and it is claimed that men have adapted to treating women 'with contempt and arrogance,' replicating their behavior. 'Disconnection from reality' and 'inability for self-analysis' are cited as problems carried by some women who do not accept the passage of time and its effects on the dating market.

The discussion also touches on biological and social aspects, such as differences in reproductive capacity at certain ages. It is suggested that while men may remain 'eligible' in the dating market at advanced ages, women face a more pronounced decline. The original article, and the reactions it generates, expose a complex network of social, economic, and gender tensions that paint an uncertain picture for relationships in contemporary society.

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