Marriage crisis: Why does sex disappear?
Sex fades in marriage after years together and children. The debate exposes male frustration and the causes of disconnection.
English · Original discussion in Spanish · Published
Sens fades in marriage: A silent crisis or the norm?
Sensual intimacy in married couples seems to be a battleground where male expectations clash with an often elusive female reality. An online debate, which has generated hundreds of responses, highlights the frustration of many men who see desire fade in their relationships after years together, especially after children arrive. The recurring complaint is wives' refusal or reluctance to have sens, perceived by many as a form of humiliation or disinterest.
The origin of the problem lies, according to various accounts, in the decline of female desire once the couple is established. Factors such as physical changes after childbirth, routine, fatigue, or even trauma related to the birth experience are pointed to as possible causes of this aversion. However, other voices point to a more pragmatic view: sens as a bargaining tool or as a means to secure economic and social stability, which loses its value once those goals are achieved.
The conversation delves into the causes of this disconnection. It debates whether the aggressiveness of male sensual, the lack of attention to female needs, or women's own biology, marked by desire cycles different from men's, are the determining factors. Proposed solutions range from open communication and couples therapy to more drastic strategies such as finding lovers or separation, highlighting the complexity and depth of a crisis affecting a large number of marriages.
The discussion also touches on women's perception of their own bodies and desire. Some opinions suggest that women may feel disconnected from their sensual after childbirth or due to physical changes, resulting in rejection of sens. Others, with a more cynical view, argue that marriage, for many, is a contract of convenience where intimacy is secondary to economic security and family structure. Marriage, for some, thus becomes a 'scam' where male needs are systematically ignored.
The debate underscores an uncomfortable reality: the disparity in libido between men and women, and how it manifests and is managed (or not) within long-term relationships. The lack of intimacy becomes a symptom of deeper problems, ranging from failed communication to the erosion of mutual desire, leaving many men feeling trapped and humiliated in what they consider an unequal pact.
Sensual 'disconnection': A biological or relationship problem?
The divergence in sensual desire between men and women is a recurring theme. While some argue it is a biological issue, where men maintain a more constant desire and women experience fluctuations, others point to psychological and relational factors. The birth of children, work stress, lack of time, or monotony are cited as elements that erode intimacy. The idea that women use sens as a bargaining chip or to secure their social and economic status also emerges strongly.
The hypothesis is raised that women, once their position is secured, may lose sensual interest in their partner, seeing him more as a roommate or provider than as an object of desire. This perspective, though harsh, resonates in many of the shared accounts, which describe a functional but passionless relationship. The lack of female desire is presented not only as a consequence of time but as a strategic shift in the power dynamics within the couple.
Is marriage an economic and emotional 'trap'?
The feeling of being trapped in a marriage without intimacy, often for economic reasons or child-rearing, is palpable in the debate. The impossibility of divorcing due to the financial cost leads many to resign themselves to a sens life, or to seek comfort outside the relationship. Criticism is directed at a model of marriage that, for some, prioritizes material stability over emotional and sensual connection, becoming an institution that generates more frustration than happiness.
The conversation suggests that the lack of sens is not just a matter of desire but a reflection of deeper imbalances in the relationship, where communication has broken down and the expectations of both parties do not align. The 'humiliation' some men feel at having to beg for intimacy is a symptom of this broken dynamic, where sensual power has shifted and is used, consciously or unconsciously, as a tool of control. The result is a marriage that, for some, resembles more a business arrangement than a union of love and passion.
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Sensual intimacy in married couples seems to be a battleground where male expectations clash with an often elusive female reality. An online debate, which has generated hundreds of responses, highlights the frustration of many men who see desire fade in their relationships after years together, especially after children arrive. The recurring complaint is wives' refusal or reluctance to have sens, perceived by many as a form of humiliation or disinterest.
The origin of the problem lies, according to various accounts, in the decline of female desire once the couple is established. Factors such as physical changes after childbirth, routine, fatigue, or even trauma related to the birth experience are pointed to as possible causes of this aversion. However, other voices point to a more pragmatic view: sens as a bargaining tool or as a means to secure economic and social stability, which loses its value once those goals are achieved.
The conversation delves into the causes of this disconnection. It debates whether the aggressiveness of male sensual, the lack of attention to female needs, or women's own biology, marked by desire cycles different from men's, are the determining factors. Proposed solutions range from open communication and couples therapy to more drastic strategies such as finding lovers or separation, highlighting the complexity and depth of a crisis affecting a large number of marriages.
The discussion also touches on women's perception of their own bodies and desire. Some opinions suggest that women may feel disconnected from their sensual after childbirth or due to physical changes, resulting in rejection of sens. Others, with a more cynical view, argue that marriage, for many, is a contract of convenience where intimacy is secondary to economic security and family structure. Marriage, for some, thus becomes a 'scam' where male needs are systematically ignored.
The debate underscores an uncomfortable reality: the disparity in libido between men and women, and how it manifests and is managed (or not) within long-term relationships. The lack of intimacy becomes a symptom of deeper problems, ranging from failed communication to the erosion of mutual desire, leaving many men feeling trapped and humiliated in what they consider an unequal pact.
Sensual 'disconnection': A biological or relationship problem?
The divergence in sensual desire between men and women is a recurring theme. While some argue it is a biological issue, where men maintain a more constant desire and women experience fluctuations, others point to psychological and relational factors. The birth of children, work stress, lack of time, or monotony are cited as elements that erode intimacy. The idea that women use sens as a bargaining chip or to secure their social and economic status also emerges strongly.
The hypothesis is raised that women, once their position is secured, may lose sensual interest in their partner, seeing him more as a roommate or provider than as an object of desire. This perspective, though harsh, resonates in many of the shared accounts, which describe a functional but passionless relationship. The lack of female desire is presented not only as a consequence of time but as a strategic shift in the power dynamics within the couple.
Is marriage an economic and emotional 'trap'?
The feeling of being trapped in a marriage without intimacy, often for economic reasons or child-rearing, is palpable in the debate. The impossibility of divorcing due to the financial cost leads many to resign themselves to a sens life, or to seek comfort outside the relationship. Criticism is directed at a model of marriage that, for some, prioritizes material stability over emotional and sensual connection, becoming an institution that generates more frustration than happiness.
The conversation suggests that the lack of sens is not just a matter of desire but a reflection of deeper imbalances in the relationship, where communication has broken down and the expectations of both parties do not align. The 'humiliation' some men feel at having to beg for intimacy is a symptom of this broken dynamic, where sensual power has shifted and is used, consciously or unconsciously, as a tool of control. The result is a marriage that, for some, resembles more a business arrangement than a union of love and passion.
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Summary of a discussion on Burbuja.info - Foro de economía, actualidad y política., translated from Spanish and reviewed before publication. Read the full discussion (634 replies).
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