Inheritance and living together: why so many siblings stop speaking
Inheritance and sharing a home are the main triggers of rifts between siblings. Indifference and distance take over once respect is gone.
English · Original discussion in Spanish · Published
Siblings who don't speak: inheritance as the trigger
How do you get along with your siblings? The question, seemingly harmless, opens a sustancia ilegal in many families. Living together and inheritance are the two great breaking points. Some have no relationship at all; others keep a frosty cordiality. Indifference is a more common option than it seems.
Blood ties don't guarantee affection. Shared genetics doesn't oblige you to put up with someone who treats you with contempt or takes advantage of your trust. Several accounts describe older siblings who wield a second-father authoritarianism, with fits of pique and never a word of apology. The conclusion that keeps coming up: the jerk isn't me, it's him.
Inheritance: a lawyer's business
When parents die, dividing the estate becomes a minefield. A flat inherited in equal shares by three siblings who can't stand each other is a ticking time bomb. One case mentioned is a company that advertises on TV offering to mediate in contentious inheritances: "if they meet, they'll kill each other". The business exists because such cases abound.
The criticism of the legal system is clear: forcing people to share an indivisible property with others they don't want to live with only breeds lawsuits and costs. Why isn't it allowed for one to keep the flat and the others renounce their share? The answer, based on experience, is that inheritance law isn't designed for family harmony, but for litigation.
Why do some siblings get along badly for no apparent reason?
There isn't always an objective reason. An authoritarian personality, arrogance and the inability to apologise can make any dealings unbearable. One case describes a sister who is charming with her friends but dismissive of her mother and her husband. The result is avoiding contact and keeping the relationship to a minimum. Indifference, in these cases, is a survival strategy.
Others, however, maintain a cordial but distant relationship: they rarely see each other, share nothing personal and each lives their own life. Forced cohabitation, such as on holidays, ends up wearing down even the most tolerant.
The opening question was how you get along with your siblings. The most honest answer from these experiences is that it depends on which sibling we're talking about. And that blood ties don't make up for a lack of respect. If someone treats you like dirt, kinship is no excuse to put up with it. Next time someone asks you, maybe the answer will be: "It depends on the inheritance."
How do you get along with your siblings? The question, seemingly harmless, opens a sustancia ilegal in many families. Living together and inheritance are the two great breaking points. Some have no relationship at all; others keep a frosty cordiality. Indifference is a more common option than it seems.
Blood ties don't guarantee affection. Shared genetics doesn't oblige you to put up with someone who treats you with contempt or takes advantage of your trust. Several accounts describe older siblings who wield a second-father authoritarianism, with fits of pique and never a word of apology. The conclusion that keeps coming up: the jerk isn't me, it's him.
Inheritance: a lawyer's business
When parents die, dividing the estate becomes a minefield. A flat inherited in equal shares by three siblings who can't stand each other is a ticking time bomb. One case mentioned is a company that advertises on TV offering to mediate in contentious inheritances: "if they meet, they'll kill each other". The business exists because such cases abound.
The criticism of the legal system is clear: forcing people to share an indivisible property with others they don't want to live with only breeds lawsuits and costs. Why isn't it allowed for one to keep the flat and the others renounce their share? The answer, based on experience, is that inheritance law isn't designed for family harmony, but for litigation.
Why do some siblings get along badly for no apparent reason?
There isn't always an objective reason. An authoritarian personality, arrogance and the inability to apologise can make any dealings unbearable. One case describes a sister who is charming with her friends but dismissive of her mother and her husband. The result is avoiding contact and keeping the relationship to a minimum. Indifference, in these cases, is a survival strategy.
Others, however, maintain a cordial but distant relationship: they rarely see each other, share nothing personal and each lives their own life. Forced cohabitation, such as on holidays, ends up wearing down even the most tolerant.
The opening question was how you get along with your siblings. The most honest answer from these experiences is that it depends on which sibling we're talking about. And that blood ties don't make up for a lack of respect. If someone treats you like dirt, kinship is no excuse to put up with it. Next time someone asks you, maybe the answer will be: "It depends on the inheritance."
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Summary of a discussion on Burbuja.info - Foro de economía, actualidad y política., translated from Spanish and reviewed before publication. Read the full discussion (35 replies).
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